AS YOU LIKE IT

ACT 1

SCENE I. Orchard of Oliver’s house.

ORLANDO

This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude: I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.”

OLIVER

Now, sir! what make you here?

ORLANDO

Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.

OLIVER

What mar you then, sir?

ORLANDO

Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God

made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.”

ORLANDO

Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?

What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should

come to such penury?”

The courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that you are the first-born; but the same tradition takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is nearer to his reverence.”

Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so”

OLIVER

And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent?

Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled

with you; you shall have some part of your will: I

pray you, leave me.”

OLIVER

Get you with him, you old dog.

ADAM

Is ‘old dog’ my reward? Most true, I have lost my

teeth in your service. God be with my old master!

he would not have spoke such a word.

Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM”

CHARLES

They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and

a many merry men with him; and there they live like

the old Robin Hood of England: they say many young

gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time

carelessly, as they did in the golden world.”

I’ll tell thee, Charles: it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man’s good parts, a secret and villanous contriver against me his natural brother: therefore use thy discretion; I had as lief thou didst break his neck as his finger. And thou wert best look to’t; for if thou dost him any slight disgrace or if he do not mightily grace himself on thee, he will practise against thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device and never leave thee till he hath ta’en thy life by some indirect means or other; for, I assure thee, and almost with tears I speak it, there is not one so young and so villanous this day living. I speak but brotherly of him; but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep and thou must look pale and wonder.”

Exit CHARLES

Now will I stir this gamester: I hope I shall see

an end of him; for my soul, yet I know not why,

hates nothing more than he. Yet he’s gentle, never

schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of

all sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much

in the heart of the world, and especially of my own

people, who best know him, that I am altogether

misprised: but it shall not be so long; this

wrestler shall clear all: nothing remains but that

I kindle the boy thither; which now I’ll go about.

Exit”

SCENE II. Lawn before the Duke’s palace.

for always the dulness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.”

ROSALIND

But is there any else longs to see this broken music

in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon

rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

LE BEAU

You must, if you stay here; for here is the place

appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to

perform it.”

DUKE FREDERICK

You will take little delight in it, I can tell you;

there is such odds in the man. In pity of the

challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he

will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if

you can move him.”

ROSALIND

Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

ORLANDO

No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I

come but in, as others do, to try with him the

strength of my youth.

CELIA

Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your

years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s

strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes or

knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your

adventure would counsel you to a more equal

enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to

embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.”

ORLANDO

I beseech you, punish me not with your hard

thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny

so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let

your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my

trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one

shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one

dead that was willing to be so: I shall do my

friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the

world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in

the world I fill up a place, which may be better

supplied when I have made it empty.”

They wrestle

ROSALIND

O excellent young man!

CELIA

If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who

should down.

Shout. CHARLES is thrown

DUKE FREDERICK

No more, no more.

ORLANDO

Yes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed.”

DUKE FREDERICK

I would thou hadst been son to some man else:

The world esteem’d thy father honourable,

But I did find him still mine enemy:

Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed,

Hadst thou descended from another house.

But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth:

I would thou hadst told me of another father.

Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU”

CELIA

Gentle cousin,

Let us go thank him and encourage him:

My father’s rough and envious disposition

Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved:

If you do keep your promises in love

But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,

Your mistress shall be happy.”

ORLANDO

What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.

O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.”

LE BEAU

Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you

To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved

High commendation, true applause and love,

Yet such is now the duke’s condition

That he misconstrues all that you have done.

The duke is humorous; what he is indeed,

More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.”

Thus must I from the smoke into the smother;

From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother:

But heavenly Rosalind!

Exit”

SCENE III. A room in the palace.

is it possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland’s youngest son?”

DUKE FREDERICK

Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste

And get you from our court.

ROSALIND

Me, uncle?

DUKE FREDERICK

You, cousin

Within these ten days if that thou be’st found

So near our public court as twenty miles,

Thou diest for it.”

DUKE FREDERICK

Thou art thy father’s daughter; there’s enough.”

Treason is not inherited, my lord;

Or, if we did derive it from our friends,

What’s that to me? my father was no traitor:

Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much

To think my poverty is treacherous.”

CELIA

No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love

Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one:

Shall we be sunder’d? shall we part, sweet girl?

No: let my father seek another heir.

Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

Whither to go and what to bear with us;

And do not seek to take your change upon you,

To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out;

For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,

Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.”

ROSALIND

Alas, what danger will it be to us,

Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

CELIA

I’ll put myself in poor and mean attire

And with a kind of umber smirch my face;

The like do you: so shall we pass along

And never stir assailants.”

CELIA

What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

ROSALIND

I’ll have no worse a name than Jove’s own page;

And therefore look you call me Ganymede.

But what will you be call’d?

CELIA

Something that hath a reference to my state

No longer Celia, but Aliena.

ROSALIND

But, cousin, what if we assay’d to steal

The clownish fool out of your father’s court?

Would he not be a comfort to our travel?

CELIA

He’ll go along o’er the wide world with me;

Leave me alone to woo him. Let’s away,

And get our jewels and our wealth together,

Devise the fittest time and safest way

To hide us from pursuit that will be made

After my flight. Now go we in content

To liberty and not to banishment.

Exeunt”

ACT 2

SCENE I. The Forest of Arden.

DUKE SENIOR

Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,

Hath not old custom made this life more sweet

Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods

More free from peril than the envious court?

Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,

The seasons’ difference, as the icy fang

And churlish chiding of the winter’s wind,

Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,

Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say

This is no flattery: these are counsellors

That feelingly persuade me what I am.’

And this our life exempt from public haunt

Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,

Sermons in stones and good in every thing.

I would not change it.

AMIENS

Happy is your grace,

That can translate the stubbornness of fortune

Into so quiet and so sweet a style.”

SCENE II. A room in the palace.

(…)

SCENE III. Before OLIVER’S house.

Know you not, master, to some kind of men

Their graces serve them but as enemies?

No more do yours: your virtues, gentle master,

Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.

O, what a world is this, when what is comely

Envenoms him that bears it!”

Thou art not for the fashion of these times,

Where none will sweat but for promotion,

And having that, do choke their service up

Even with the having: it is not so with thee.”

ADAM

Master, go on, and I will follow thee,

To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty.

From seventeen years till now almost fourscore

Here lived I, but now live here no more.

At seventeen years many their fortunes seek;

But at fourscore it is too late a week:

Yet fortune cannot recompense me better

Than to die well and not my master’s debtor.

Exeunt”

SCENE IV. The Forest of Arden.

(…)

SCENE V. The Forest.

(…)

SCENE V. The Forest.

ORLANDO

I will here be with thee presently;

and if I bring thee not something to eat, I will

give thee leave to die: but if thou diest before I

come, thou art a mocker of my labour.”

SCENE VII. The forest.

JAQUES

The motley fool thus moral on the time,

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,

That fools should be so deep-contemplative,

And I did laugh sans intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool!

A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.”

O that I were a fool! I am ambitious for a motley coat.”

…I must have liberty

Withal, as large a charter as the wind,

To blow on whom I please; for so fools have;

And they that are most galled with my folly,

They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?

The “why’ is plain as way to parish church:

He that a fool doth very wisely hit

Doth very foolishly, although he smart,

Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not,

The wise man’s folly is anatomized

Even by the squandering glances of the fool.

Invest me in my motley; give me leave

To speak my mind, and I will through and through

Cleanse the foul body of the infected world,

If they will patiently receive my medicine.”

DUKE SENIOR

For thou thyself hast been a libertine,

As sensual as the brutish sting itself;

And all the embossed sores and headed evils,

That thou with licence of free foot hast caught,

Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.”

What woman in the city do I name,

When that I say the city-woman bears

The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?

Who can come in and say that I mean her,

When such a one as she such is her neighbour?

Or what is he of basest function

That says his bravery is not of my cost,

Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits

His folly to the mettle of my speech?

There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein

My tongue hath wrong’d him: if it do him right,

Then he hath wrong’d himself; if he be free,

Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,

Unclaim’d of any man. But who comes here?”

ORLANDO

I almost die for food; and let me have it.

DUKE SENIOR

Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.”

DUKE SENIOR

Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.

JAQUES

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:

Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

That dost not bite so nigh

As benefits forgot:”

…I am the duke

That loved your father: the residue of your fortune,

Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,

Thou art right welcome as thy master is.

Support him by the arm….”

ACT III

SCENE I. A room in the palace.

(…)

SCENE II. The forest.

TOUCHSTONE

For a taste:

If a hart do lack a hind,

Let him seek out Rosalind.

If the cat will after kind,

So be sure will Rosalind.

Winter garments must be lined,

So must slender Rosalind.

They that reap must sheaf and bind;

Then to cart with Rosalind.

Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,

Such a nut is Rosalind.

He that sweetest rose will find

Must find love’s prick and Rosalind.

This is the very false gallop of verses: why do you

infect yourself with them?

ROSALIND

Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree.

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.”

ROSALIND

I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder

before you came; for look here what I found on a

palm-tree. I was never so be-rhymed since

Pythagoras’ time, that I was an Irish rat, which I

can hardly remember.

CELIA

Trow you who hath done this?

ROSALIND

Is it a man?

CELIA

And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.

Change you colour?

ROSALIND

I prithee, who?

CELIA

O Lord, Lord! it is a hard matter for friends to

meet; but mountains may be removed with earthquakes

and so encounter.”

ROSALIND

Good my complexion! dost thou think, though I am

caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in

my disposition? One inch of delay more is a

South-sea of discovery; I prithee, tell me who is it

quickly, and speak apace. I would thou couldst

stammer, that thou mightst pour this concealed man

out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow-

mouthed bottle, either too much at once, or none at

all. I prithee, take the cork out of thy mouth that

may drink thy tidings.

CELIA

So you may put a man in your belly.

ROSALIND

Is he of God’s making? What manner of man? Is his

head worth a hat, or his chin worth a beard?

CELIA

Nay, he hath but a little beard.

ROSALIND

Why, God will send more, if the man will be

thankful: let me stay the growth of his beard, if

thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin.

CELIA

It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler’s

heels and your heart both in an instant.”

ROSALIND

Alas the day! what shall I do with my doublet and

hose? What did he when thou sawest him? What said

he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What makes

him here? Did he ask for me? Where remains he?

How parted he with thee? and when shalt thou see

him again? Answer me in one word.

CELIA

You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first: ‘tis a

word too great for any mouth of this age’s size. To

say ay and no to these particulars is more than to

answer in a catechism.

ROSALIND

But doth he know that I am in this forest and in

man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the

day he wrestled?

CELIA

It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the

propositions of a lover; but take a taste of my

finding him, and relish it with good observance.

I found him under a tree, like a dropped acorn.

ROSALIND

It may well be called Jove’s tree, when it drops

forth such fruit.”

Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES”

JAQUES

I pray you, mar no more trees with writing

love-songs in their barks.

ORLANDO

I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading

them ill-favouredly.”

JAQUES

Rosalind is your love’s name?

ORLANDO

Yes, just.

JAQUES

I do not like her name.

ORLANDO

There was no thought of pleasing you when she was

christened.

JAQUES

What stature is she of?

ORLANDO

Just as high as my heart.

JAQUES

You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been

acquainted with goldsmiths’ wives, and conned them

out of rings?”

JAQUES

The worst fault you have is to be in love.

ORLANDO

Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue.

I am weary of you.

JAQUES

By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found

you.

ORLANDO

He is drowned in the brook: look but in, and you

shall see him.

JAQUES

There I shall see mine own figure.

ORLANDO

Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.

JAQUES

I’ll tarry no longer with you: farewell, good

Signior Love.”

ORLANDO

Who ambles Time withal?

ROSALIND

With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that

hath not the gout, for the one sleeps easily because

he cannot study, and the other lives merrily because

he feels no pain, the one lacking the burden of lean

and wasteful learning, the other knowing no burden

of heavy tedious penury; these Time ambles withal.”

ORLANDO

Your accent is something finer than you could

purchase in so removed a dwelling.”

ROSALIND

No, I will not cast away my physic but on those that

are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that

abuses our young plants with carving ‘Rosalind’ on

their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies

on brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of

Rosalind: if I could meet that fancy-monger I would

give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the

quotidian of love upon him.

ORLANDO

I am he that is so love-shaked: I pray you tell me

your remedy.”

ROSALIND

A lean cheek, which you have not, a blue eye and

sunken, which you have not, an unquestionable

spirit, which you have not, a beard neglected,

which you have not; but I pardon you for that, for

simply your having in beard is a younger brother’s

revenue: then your hose should be ungartered, your

bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe

untied and every thing about you demonstrating a

careless desolation; but you are no such man; you

are rather point-device in your accoutrements as

loving yourself than seeming the lover of any other.”

ROSALIND

Love is merely a madness, and, I tell you, deserves

as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do: and

the reason why they are not so punished and cured

is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers

are in love too. Yet I profess curing it by counsel.”

…would now like him, now loathe

him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep

for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor

from his mad humour of love to a living humour of

madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of

the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic.

And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon

me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep’s

heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in’t.

ORLANDO

I would not be cured, youth.

ROSALIND

I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind

and come every day to my cote and woo me.

ORLANDO

Now, by the faith of my love, I will: tell me

where it is.

ROSALIND

Go with me to it and I’ll show it you and by the way

you shall tell me where in the forest you live.

Will you go?

ORLANDO

With all my heart, good youth.

ROSALIND

Nay you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will you go?

Exeunt”

SCENE III. The forest.

TOUCHSTONE

When a man’s verses cannot be understood, nor a

man’s good wit seconded with the forward child

Understanding, it strikes a man more dead than a

great reckoning in a little room. Truly, I would

the gods had made thee poetical.

AUDREY

I do not know what ‘poetical’ is: is it honest in

deed and word? is it a true thing?

TOUCHSTONE

No, truly; for the truest poetry is the most

feigning; and lovers are given to poetry, and what

they swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do feign.

AUDREY

Do you wish then that the gods had made me poetical?

TOUCHSTONE

I do, truly; for thou swearest to me thou art

honest: now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some

hope thou didst feign.

AUDREY

Would you not have me honest?

TOUCHSTONE

No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favoured; for

honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.

JAQUES

[Aside] A material fool!

AUDREY

Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods

make me honest.

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut

were to put good meat into an unclean dish.

AUDREY

I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.

TOUCHSTONE

Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness!

sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may

be, I will marry thee, and to that end I have been

with Sir Oliver Martext, the vicar of the next

village, who hath promised to meet me in this place

of the forest and to couple us.

JAQUES

[Aside] I would fain see this meeting.“

…As horns are odious, they are necessary. It is said, ‘many a man knows no end of his goods:’ right; many a man has good horns, and knows no end of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife; ‘tis none of his own getting. Horns? Even so. Poor men alone? No, no; the noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the single man therefore blessed? No: as a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honourable than the bare brow of a bachelor; and by how much defence is better than no skill, by so much is a horn more precious than to want. Here comes Sir Oliver.”

JAQUES

Will you be married, motley?

TOUCHSTONE

As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb and

the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and

as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.”

[Aside] I am not in the mind but I were better to be

married of him than of another: for he is not like

to marry me well; and not being well married, it

will be a good excuse for me hereafter to leave my wife.”

SCENE IV. The forest.

CELIA

Yes; I think he is not a pick-purse nor a

horse-stealer, but for his verity in love, I do

think him as concave as a covered goblet or a

worm-eaten nut.”

SCENE V. Another part of the forest.

Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains

Some scar of it; lean but upon a rush,

The cicatrice and capable impressure

Thy palm some moment keeps; but now mine eyes,

Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not,

Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes

That can do hurt.”

You are a thousand times a properer man

Than she a woman: ‘tis such fools as you

That makes the world full of ill-favour’d children:

Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her;

And out of you she sees herself more proper

Than any of her lineaments can show her.

But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees,

And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man’s love:

For I must tell you friendly in your ear,

Sell when you can: you are not for all markets:

Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer:

Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer.

So take her to thee, shepherd: fare you well.”

Exeunt ROSALIND, CELIA and CORIN

PHEBE

Dead Shepherd, now I find thy saw of might,

Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?’”

Silvius, the time was that I hated thee,

And yet it is not that I bear thee love;

But since that thou canst talk of love so well,

Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,

I will endure, and I’ll employ thee too:

But do not look for further recompense

Than thine own gladness that thou art employ’d.”

PHEBE

Know’st now the youth that spoke to me erewhile?

SILVIUS

Not very well, but I have met him oft;

And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds

That the old carlot once was master of.”

PHEBE

Think not I love him, though I ask for him:

Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well;

But what care I for words? yet words do well

When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

It is a pretty youth: not very pretty:

But, sure, he’s proud, and yet his pride becomes him:

He’ll make a proper man: the best thing in him

Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue

Did make offence his eye did heal it up.

He is not very tall; yet for his years he’s tall:

His leg is but so so; and yet ‘tis well:

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

A little riper and more lusty red

Than that mix’d in his cheek; ‘twas just the difference

Between the constant red and mingled damask.

There be some women, Silvius, had they mark’d him

In parcels as I did, would have gone near

To fall in love with him; but, for my part,

I love him not nor hate him not; and yet

I have more cause to hate him than to love him:

For what had he to do to chide at me?

He said mine eyes were black and my hair black:

And, now I am remember’d, scorn’d at me:

I marvel why I answer’d not again:

But that’s all one; omittance is no quittance.

I’ll write to him a very taunting letter,

And thou shalt bear it: wilt thou, Silvius?

SILVIUS

Phebe, with all my heart.”

ACT IV

SCENE I. The forest.

ORLANDO

Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind!

JAQUES

Nay, then, God be wi’ you, an you talk in blank verse.

Exit”

The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and being taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish coroners of that age found it was ‘Hero of Sestos.’ But these are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them, but not for love.”

men are April when they woo, December when they wed:

maids are May when they are maids, but the sky

changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous

of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen,

more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more

new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires

than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana

in the fountain, and I will do that when you are

disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and

that when thou art inclined to sleep.”

O, that woman that cannot make her fault her husband’s occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool!”

my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal.”

SCENE II. The forest.

(cantado)

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn;

It was a crest ere thou wast born:

Thy father’s father wore it,

And thy father bore it:

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn

Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.”

SCENE III. The forest.

CELIA

Are you his brother?

ROSALIND

Wast you he rescued?

CELIA

Was’t you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

OLIVER

Twas I; but ‘tis not I I do not shame

To tell you what I was, since my conversion

So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

ROSALIND

But, for the bloody napkin?

OLIVER

By and by.

When from the first to last betwixt us two

Tears our recountments had most kindly bathed,

As how I came into that desert place:–

In brief, he led me to the gentle duke,

Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,

Committing me unto my brother’s love;

Who led me instantly unto his cave,

There stripp’d himself, and here upon his arm

The lioness had torn some flesh away,

Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted

And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.

Brief, I recover’d him, bound up his wound;

And, after some small space, being strong at heart,

He sent me hither, stranger as I am,

To tell this story, that you might excuse

His broken promise, and to give this napkin

Dyed in his blood unto the shepherd youth

That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

ROSALIND swoons

CELIA

Why, how now, Ganymede! sweet Ganymede!

OLIVER

Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

CELIA

There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede!“

ACT 5 SCENE I. The forest.

TOUCHSTONE

Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying,

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man

knows himself to be a fool.’ The heathen

philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape,

would open his lips when he put it into his mouth;

meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and

lips to open. You do love this maid?”

TOUCHSTONE

Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it

is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out

of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty

the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse

is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.”

TOUCHSTONE

He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you

clown, abandon,–which is in the vulgar leave,–the

society,–which in the boorish is company,–of this

female,–which in the common is woman; which

together is, abandon the society of this female, or,

clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better

understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make

thee away, translate thy life into death, thy

liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with

thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy

with thee in faction; I will o’errun thee with

policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways:

therefore tremble and depart.”

SCENE II. The forest.

ORLANDO

Is’t possible that on so little acquaintance you

should like her? that but seeing you should love

her? and loving woo? and, wooing, she should

grant? and will you persever to enjoy her?

OLIVER

Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the

poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden

wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me,

I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me;

consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it

shall be to your good; for my father’s house and all

the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I

estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.”

…But, O, how bitter a thing it

is to look into happiness through another man’s

eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at

the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall

think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.”

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion and all made of wishes,

All adoration, duty, and observance,

All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all observance;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE

And so am I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO

And so am I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND

And so am I for no woman.

PHEBE

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

SILVIUS

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

ORLANDO

If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

ROSALIND

Who do you speak to, ‘Why blame you me to love you?’

ORLANDO

To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.

ROSALIND

Pray you, no more of this; ‘tis like the howling

of Irish wolves against the moon.

To SILVIUS

I will help you, if I can:

To PHEBE

I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together.

To PHEBE

I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I’ll be

married to-morrow:

To ORLANDO

I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you

shall be married to-morrow:

To SILVIUS

I will content you, if what pleases you contents

you, and you shall be married to-morrow.

To ORLANDO

As you love Rosalind, meet:

To SILVIUS

as you love Phebe, meet: and as I love no woman,

I’ll meet. So fare you well: I have left you commands.

SILVIUS

I’ll not fail, if I live.

PHEBE

Nor I.

ORLANDO

Nor I.

Exeunt”

SCENE III. The forest.

(…)

SCENE IV. The forest.

ROSALIND

I have promised to make all this matter even.

Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter;

You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:

Keep your word, Phebe, that you’ll marry me,

Or else refusing me, to wed this shepherd:

Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her.

If she refuse me: and from hence I go,

To make these doubts all even.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA”

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

JAQUES

There is, sure, another flood toward, and these

couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of

very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.

TOUCHSTONE

Salutation and greeting to you all!

JAQUES

Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the

motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in

the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.

TOUCHSTONE

If any man doubt that, let him put me to my

purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered

a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth

with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have

had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.”

HYMEN

Peace, ho! I bar confusion:

‘Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events:

Here’s eight that must take hands

To join in Hymen’s bands,

If truth holds true contents.

You and you no cross shall part:

You and you are heart in heart

You to his love must accord,

Or have a woman to your lord:

You and you are sure together,

As the winter to foul weather.

Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,

Feed yourselves with questioning;

That reason wonder may diminish,

How thus we met, and these things finish.

SONG.

Wedding is great Juno’s crown:

O blessed bond of board and bed!

‘Tis Hymen peoples every town;

High wedlock then be honoured:

Honour, high honour and renown,

To Hymen, god of every town!”

EPILOGUE

ROSALIND

It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;

but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord

the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs

no bush, ‘tis true that a good play needs no

epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes,

and good plays prove the better by the help of good

epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am

neither a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with

you in the behalf of a good play! I am not

furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not

become me: my way is to conjure you; and I’ll begin

with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love

you bear to men, to like as much of this play as

please you: and I charge you, O men, for the love

you bear to women–as I perceive by your simpering,

none of you hates them–that between you and the

women the play may please. If I were a woman I

would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased

me, complexions that liked me and breaths that I

defied not: and, I am sure, as many as have good

beards or good faces or sweet breaths will, for my

kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

Exeunt”

GLOSSÁRIO:

bur: casca de noz; aporrinhação.

chanticleer: galo

ewe: ovelha

jolly: alegre

motley: variegado, caleidoscópico; a roupa arco-íris de um bobo da côrte.

whetstone: pedra-de-amolar

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