From R.H. Charles – The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1913.
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Anjos também comem.
O Homem é a única Imagem de Deus que deve ser venerada.
“And Eve said to Adam: <Wilt thou slay me? that I may die, and perchance God the Lord will bring thee into paradise, for on my account hast thou been driven thence.>”
“And 18 days passed by; then Satan was wroth and transformed himself into the brightness of angels, and went away to the river Tigris to Eve, and found her weeping, and the devil himself pretended to grieve with her, and he began to weep and said to her: <Come out of the river and lament no more. Cease now from sorrow and moans. Why art thou anxious and thy husband Adam? The Lord God hath heard your groaning and hath accepted your penitence, and all we angels have entreated on your behalf, and made supplication to the Lord; and he hath sent me to bring you out of the water and give you the nourishment which you had in paradise, and for which you are crying out. Now come out of the water and I will conduct you to the place where your victual [suprimentos, víveres] hath been made ready.> But Eve heard and believed and went out of the water of the river, and her flesh was trembling like grass, from the chill of the water. And when she had gone out, she fell on the earth and the devil raised her up and led her to Adam. But when Adam had seen her and the devil with her, he wept and cried aloud and said: <O Eve, Eve, where is the labour of thy penitence? How hast thou been again ensnared by our adversary, by whose means we have been estranged from our abode in paradise and spiritual joy?> And when she heard this, Eve understood that the devil had persuaded her to go out of the river; and she fell on her face on the earth and her sorrow and groaning and wailing was redoubled. And she cried out and said: <Woe unto thee, thou devil. Why dost thou attack us for no cause? What hast thou to do with us? What have we done to thee? for thou pursuest us with craft? Or why doth thy malice assail us? Have we taken away thy glory and caused thee to be without honour? Why dost thou harry [assedia; atormenta] us, thou enemy to the death in wickedness and envy?>” E Eva era tão indigna que Satã responde sua súplica direto a Adão…
Eva uma vez
Eva uma rês
Coisa no ermo
Como uma semente
cuspida da maçã
porque quem não planta
Por que eu jamais idolatraria um Neymar (Lúcifer tem a resposta): “I will not worship an inferior and younger being. I am his senior in the Creation”
Argumentos entre Micael e Lulu: “If He be wrath with me, I will set my seat above the stars of heaven and will be like the Highest.”
Pobrezinho / nasceu desnutrido / neste mundo de ninguém: “And Eve said to Adam: <Live thou, my Lord, to thee life is granted, since thou hast committed neither the first nor the second error. But I have erred and been led astray for I have not kept the commandment of God; and now banish me from the light of thy life and I will go to the sun-setting, and there will I be, until I die.> And she began to walk towards the western parts and to mourn and to weep bitterly and groan aloud. And she made there a booth, while she had in her womb offspring of 3 months old.”
“Michael stroked her on the face as far as to the breast and said to Eve: <Blessed art thou, Eve, for Adam’s sake. Since his prayers and intercessions are great, I have been sent that thou mayst receive our help. Rise up now, and prepare thee to bear [ter criança].> And she bore a son and he was shining; and at once the babe rose up and ran and bore a blade of grass in his hands, and gave it to his mother, and his name was called Cain.” “thereafter Eve conceived and bare a son, whose name was Abel; and Cain and Abel used to stay together. And Eve said to Adam: <My lord, while I slept, I saw a vision, as it were the blood of our son Abel in the hand of Cain, who was gulping it down in his mouth. Therefore I have sorrow.> and Adam said, <Alas if Cain slew Abel. Yet let us separate them from each other mutually, and let us make for each of them separate dwellings.> And they made Cain an husbandman, Abel they made a shepherd [como sempre, o preguiçoso é o mocinho da estória – vide Esaú e Jacó]”
Nonsense: “And thereafter, Cain slew Abel, but Adam was then 130 years old, but Abel was slain when he was 122. And thereafter Adam knew his wife and he begat a son and called his name Seth.”
Rafaelíticos 25:44: 7 não é 8, nem 80.
Os sete sinos badalam ou será que é hora de umas travessuras?
“And after Adam had begotten Seth, he lived 800 years and begat 30 sons and 30 daughters; in all 63 children [sem contar os 3 primogênitos, Caim, Abel e Sete]. And they were increased over the face of the earth in their nations.” Sempre com a senhora, ou será que deram um vinhozinho pra ele?
“What is pain, my lord father? I am ignorant; but hide it not from us, but tell us.”
“But God gave a part of paradise to me and to your mother: the trees of the eastern part and the north, which is over against Aquilo [aquilo o quê?] he gave to me, and to your mother he gave the part of the south and the western part.” “God the Lord gave us two angels to guard us. The hour came when the angels had ascended to worship in the sight of God; forthwith the adversary found an opportunity while the angels were absent and the devil led your mother astray to eat of the unlawful and forbidden tree.” “I will bring upon thy body 70 blows; with divers griefs, shalt thou be tormented, beginning at thy head and thine eyes and thine ears down to thy nails[,] on thy toes, and in every separate limb.”
“The beast answered in the language of men: <Is it not against you, Eve, that our malice is directed? Are not ye the objects of our rage? (…) Tell me, Eve, how was thy mouth opened to eat of the fruit?>”
OS PORTÕES DO PARAÍSO: “But Seth and his mother walked to the regions of paradise for the oil of mercy to anoint the sick Adam: and they arrived at the gates of paradise, they took dust from the earth and placed it on their heads, and bowed themselves with their faces to the earth and began to lament and make loud moaning, imploring the Lord God to pity Adam in his pains and to send His angel to give them the oil from the <tree of His mercy>.” A baboseira da água benta.
Quando 5.500 anos tiverem-se passado, Cristo regressará para o Juízo Final.
“Eve: But hearken unto me, my children. Make ye then tables of stone and others of clay, and write on them, all my life and your father’s that ye have heard and seen from us. If by water the Lord judge our race, the tables of clay will be dissolved and the tables of stone will remain; but if by fire, the tables of stone will be broken up and the tables of clay will be baked.”
“she gave up the ghost”